Manhattan Transfer (Alternate Scene)
by GothChickSupremo
Summary: Set in season 17, episode Manhattan Transfer. Alternate Scene replacing the one in Olivia Benson's apartment with Sister Nina and Noah Benson-Porter. What if Sister Nina hadn't put Noah down?


_"You know what, lets say goodbye to Mr. Tucker. He's gotta go, he's gotta go right now."_

" _Nina..."_

" _No no no, she's right. It's okay. I'll go, let you two talk."_

" _Nina... I need you to put my son down. Nina listen to me... Look Tuckers' gone, alright? I know you wanna help those girls, but that's not what you think... Nina I need you to put my son down."_

Olivia Benson could feel herself trembling, watching the deranged woman grip the child closer to her body. She had learned throughout her life that people like Sister Nina are completely unpredictable, and that mixed with the fact that the child in her arms was _her_ little boy, absolutely terrified her. "Put him down Nina." Olivia spoke with more force this time, hoping that it would somehow break through the psychotic walls built around the woman. But of course, she didn't listen and instead, began to do the exact opposite of what the lieutenant had wanted. " _You_." Nina hissed, her eyes narrowing and her grip on the oblivious little Noah tightening. "You're helping them, aren't you? You and that... _That_ man... _His_ cousin..." She gestured towards the door, obviously referring to Ed Tucker and his cousin Eugene, the priest that was an intricate suspect in their investigation.

Olivia began shaking her head vehemently, holding her hands up in an act of surrender. "No Nina, no. I want to help those girls, I want to help _you,_ okay?" She raised her eyebrows, searching for some form of understanding in the nun's eyes, letting out a shaky breath when she found none. "Just put Noah down." She's practically begging at this point, taking careful and slow steps towards the opposite side of her living room. Sister Nina responded by stepping backwards until her back was completely pressed against the window behind her. Noah stared at his mother and though he is still young and really has no idea what the gravity of the situation is, he can sense the tension in the room, and it worries him. "Mama?" His voice was soft, an audible tremble in it as he spoke, reaching out for her. Olivia gave him a smile that was genuine in his eyes, however forced it may actually be.

"It's okay my love." She murmured softly, leaning down slightly so that she could look into the boy's eyes. Nina placed a hand on the back of Noah's head and turned him so that he could no longer look at his mother, who then straightened out and prepared to plead once more, her mouth hanging agape when the nun cut her off. "Everyone said I could trust you, and I actually did, Lieutenant Benson. But you're just like all the other cops, you won't help me or those girls. You probably brought me here so you could kill me, didn't you?" Olivia had no idea how to respond to Nina's absurd accusation. She saw the woman's psyche beginning to deteriorate, her dark eyes sparkling with something that could only be insanity at this point.

"I'm not going to let you hurt me..." Her voice was lower and darker than it had been previously as her eyes shifted to the young boy in her arms, a strange smile appearing on her face. "I won't let you hurt him either." The next thing that the lieutenant heard was shattering glass, followed by a high pitched shriek, one that sounded like it had come from a wounded animal in excruciating pain. It took her a few seconds to realize that the sound had come from _her._ Olivia's hands tightly clasped over her mouth as she stumbled backwards, her head subconsciously shaking from side to side as tears began to rapidly slip from her eyes. She stared at the shattered window only for a few seconds before she sprints towards the door, throwing it open and going directly to the stairs. Her heels had caused her to nearly trip a number of times but she didn't give a damn.

Once Olivia reached the lobby she pushed past the people entering the apartment building, or exiting at a rate that was much to slow for her liking, until she finally made it outside. Her dark, tear filled eyes zeroed in on a large and growing crowd just outside of the building and she didn't even think before she began shoving at the people, desperately trying to make her way to the center where she knew her son was. "Has anyone called an ambulance yet?!" She heard a man yell frantically, her eyes widening both from recognition and terror. "ED!?" She shouted while shoving harder at the people in her way, finally stumbling into the middle of the large crowd. Olivia's eyes landed on a man she knew all too well hunched over what had once been Sister Nina, but was now a corpse with a cracked skull.

Her eyes searched frantically for her son, her heart threatening to beat right out of her chest when she saw no sign of the boy. "Olivia..." Tucker murmured her name so softly she almost didn't hear it, but unfortunately for her she had. Her gaze moved to him and then down to a small bundle that he was holding to his chest. "Is that..." She couldn't bear to finish the sentence, simply because she already knew the answer. The thing that her lover was so desperately trying to hide from her by wrapping it in his coat and holding it as close to himself as possible was her son. The seemingly fearless Olivia Benson collapsed to her knees, cradling her face in her hands as the tears resumed their steady flow. She felt arms wrap around her body but didn't bother to move from her position, knowing full well who the limbs belonged to.

Everything after that was, for her, a complete blur that consisted of bright lights and blaring sirens. At some time unknown to her Ed had pulled her off to the side, continuing to hold her on the steps that lead up to her apartment building. She didn't know where they had taken Noah, though there was the obvious assumption that he was currently in a sickeningly small body bag in the morgue, or perhaps being opened up by mortified Melinda Warner on a metal table. Another thing the lieutenant hadn't known was that she had been violently crying for a little over an hour, her face buried into the crook of Tucker's neck and her hands tightly gripping his cotton shirt while her body wracked with every sob. The normally emotionless IAB Captain was shedding tears himself, for the young boy who had been violently taken from the world _much_ to soon and for his mother, the woman he was hopelessly in love with and who loved Noah more than life itself. The fact that her reason for living was now gone absolutely terrified him.

Olivia was silent now, though her grip on his shirt had barely loosened, and he was stunned when she slowly lifted her head from his shoulder, her puffy and reddened eyes gazing up into his. The pain he saw in her beautiful brown eyes shattered his heart, almost as much as her broken and quiet voice had. "I want to see him..." He stared down at her and couldn't find it within himself to deny her of something as simple as taking her to see her son. _Except_ , it wasn't that simple. Because she hadn't seen that little body sprawled on the ground, the bloody gashes in it's soft skin. No, he'd managed to shield her from that horror. But he knew he couldn't keep the gory sight from her forever, he knew that she would want to see her son eventually, and he knew that seeing him would be the thing that ultimately destroyed her. Ed decided to go against his better judgement and nodded, carefully helping her into a standing position and then leading her to his car.

That ride to the morgue, however short it may have actually been, was the longest either of them ever had to endure. The time they spent staring at the grim building was even longer. Surprisingly, Olivia was the first of the two of them to exit the car and was soon followed by the other, both of them hastily entering with a sense of dread. They were soon met by none other than Melinda Warner, who had insisted on taking this case after hearing the young boy's name. Tears had sprung to her eyes the instant the small, fragile body was placed on her table, and that was the first time in a long time that she felt bile rise in her throat. She had a similar feeling when staring into her friend's pain filled eyes, knowing that it was only a matter of time before the woman hit the proverbial wall.

"Did he suffer?" That was the first thing that came from the lieutenant's mouth, causing the other's hearts to tighten in their chests. The medical examiner's eyes shifted down to her gloved hands before she responded. "No. He... He died on impact." Olivia's eyes slipped closed, her lower lip beginning to tremble though she was trying her best to make it stop. "Let me see him." Her voice came out as a shaky whisper and received a nod from her friend, who made her way into the conjoined room. Olivia turned in the direction of her lover, placing a hand on his shoulder and staring into his eyes before speaking. "I need to do this alone..." Ed began to nod, gently taking her hand from his shoulder and clasping it in both of his own. "I understand Liv, but just... I'm here, if you need me." In any other instance she would have smiled at that, albeit a small one, but she couldn't will her mouth to even twitch in response.

She entered the room with hesitant steps, her eyes trained on the metal table. The two women stood in complete silence for a few moments before Olivia finally gave a nod, watching as Melinda's shaking hands carefully pulled back the white sheet that covered her son's body. "Oh god..." She sobbed, a hand clasping over her mouth while the other one reached towards the small head, her trembling fingers brushing through Noah's soft brown locks. His skin was cold and clammy and she couldn't bear to touch it any longer, opting for Melinda's warm hand that clearly showed she was still alive. "I'm so sorry Liv." The medical examiner whispered, feeling Olivia's grip on her hand instantly tighten afterwards. They stood together for a few moments before the boy's mother could no longer take the sight of him and turned away, her arms wrapping around Melinda and her face resting in the crook of the woman's neck.

The woman brought her arms around her friend, gently rubbing circles on her back as she listened to her sobbing, shedding a few tears of her own in the process. She wanted to tell her that everything would be okay, that she would make it through this somehow but she knew it would be a complete lie. Melinda snaked one of her hands away to pull the sheet back over the boy's body, not wanting to cause the woman anymore pain, _if that were even possible._ Shortly afterwards they both stepped out of the now darkened room, where Ed had been patiently waiting so that he could take Olivia home... Well, to his home, since he was sure that he couldn't take her back to her apartment. Not because there's a shattered window in it, though that is a pretty good reason, but because of the once joyful things in her home, joyful things that have been corrupted by a single act of violence.

Toys that will never again be played with.

A brightly colored room that will forever be empty.

Baby food that will never be eaten.

Memories of the sweet little boy that had ruled her heart.


End file.
